Monday Musing: What if the key to unlocking our full potential lies in challenging the negative stories we tell ourselves?

Ever found yourself replaying a conversation, analysing every word and gesture, wondering if you left the right impression? I did it just last week. Our inner dialogue tends to skew negative, especially when we care about making a good first impression.

That nagging uncertainty? Psychologists call it the “liking gap,” —Tbh, I don’t love the name—it’s too tied to social media ‘likes’ and validation. But at its core, it’s about the disconnect between how we think others see us and how they actually do.

This gap can lead to unnecessary self-doubt and prevent us from forming genuine connections, limiting our opportunities both personally and professionally.
But the good news? We can navigate this gap and build more authentic relationships!

And just FYI: After nearly a decade of research, experts have found that people consistently underestimate how much others genuinely like them. Turns out you’re likely more likable than you think! 😉

1. Catch Your Unconscious Thought Patterns: Pay attention to those automatic negative thoughts that crop up after a conversation. Do you have real evidence or are you being unduly harsh on yourself? Recognising these patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycle of self-doubt.

2. Seek Feedback, Don’t Assume: Instead of relying on assumptions and internal dialogues, actively seek feedback from trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors. Honest input helps build a more accurate picture of how you’re perceived and can alleviate unwarranted self-doubt. Plus, it can catch any faults or blind spots you might have missed, empowering you to grow and improve.

3. Focus on Connections, Not Impressions: Shift your focus from leaving a perfect impression to building meaningful connections. Authenticity resonates more than polished perfection. 

Recall a recent conversation where you felt unsure about how you were perceived.  How might you have underestimated yourself?

Build genuine connections by being your authentic self.

Image inspired by BetterUp

What I’ve been up to over the week that was.

We also got to visit the impressive ARC centre (home of umpiring) and do a range of interactive sessions where we had to put ourselves in the umpiring hot seat… which certainly built empathy for our game’s umpires! 

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