Why Great Leaders Assume the Best—and Ask Better Questions

I’ve been thinking a lot about assumptions lately. Maybe it’s new parenthood, where you’re constantly questioning what you thought you knew and adapting to a little person’s unique needs and personality. Or maybe it was the copy of Raising Human Beings by Dr. Ross W. Greene that was recommended to me by a friend.

Either way, I’m deeply inspired by the premise of this book, which, though focused on raising children, offers profound insights applicable to adults as well. The main premise though is:

People do well if they can.

A simple idea with profound ramifications.

In Greene’s book, he emphasises that children inherently want to succeed and will thrive when equipped with the right skills and support. This perspective shifts the focus from punishment to understanding and addressing the underlying challenges that may be hindering their success.

It got me thinking a bit about workplace performance. Just as children thrive when their challenges are understood and addressed, employees are more likely to succeed when leaders focus on identifying and providing the resources, training, or guidance needed to overcome obstacles and unlock their potential.

So, when a team member is underperforming or seems disengaged, instead of immediately asking ‘What are we going to do about it?’ (in a performance management sense), how do we pause to ask:

What might be stopping this person from doing well?

Reframing Our Leadership Lens

It’s so easy to jump to conclusions. You hear someone muttering about “unmotivated” Gen Zs or that one “difficult” colleague, and suddenly it’s a workplace whodunnit. What if the real issue is something entirely different—and solvable?

Here’s what happens when we shift our assumptions:

1. We get curious instead of judgemental

When we believe people want to succeed, we start asking different questions:

• What barriers are they facing?
• What support do they need?
• What skills might be missing?

Instead of labelling someone as “unmotivated,” we open the door to understanding their challenges. Often, what looks like apathy is frustration, confusion, or overwhelm.

This idea ties back to what I wrote about last week: Brené Brown’s habit of asking her team members, when they’ve flagged they might be struggling, “What does help from me look like today?” It’s a simple yet powerful shift that moves us from assuming to asking.

She also shared a powerful reminder that as leaders, it’s not our job to have all the answers, but it is our job to ask the right questions.

2. We focus on solutions, not blame

This mindset shift transforms how we approach problems:

• From “Why aren’t they performing?” to “How can we help them succeed?”
• From “They need to do better” to “What needs to change?”
• From “Who’s at fault?” to “What’s the barrier?”

This subtle change reframes challenges as collaborative opportunities. It’s not about assigning blame—it’s about unlocking potential.

3. We build trust through understanding

When we lead with curiosity, we build trust. When we show people that we’re genuinely interested in their challenges—not just their results—they respond with openness instead of defensiveness. You’ll hear insights instead of excuses. You’ll shift from working against each other to solving problems together.

Trust is a game-changer for performance, wellbeing, and results. Research published in HBR reveals that high-trust workplaces see 76% more employee engagement, 50% higher productivity, and 40% less burnout.

And this doesn’t just apply to how we lead—it applies to how we design the systems we work within. If your workplace policies assume people are inherently untrustworthy or need to be micromanaged, guess what? That belief will shape how people behave. But when we build systems that assume people want to do well, we foster trust, growth, and collaboration.

High-performing teams don’t thrive in environments of suspicion—they thrive when trust is baked into the culture. So, how are your systems shaping your people?

So, here’s my challenge to you: What are you doing to check in with your team—not just on their work, but on how they’re really doing?

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